Don’t Hand Me What You Didn’t Pray About (Part 1)

A sermon turned blog… because my timeline is both saved and slightly spicy.

So boom — this was originally a sermon.

Like… I got up there and did what needed to be done.Bible open. Mic on.Lashes lashed. Audacity activated.

But I’m turning it into a blog because everybody on my timeline is not “church-churched,” and I’m trying to walk the line between holy and hood without losing the message.

Because listen — some of y’all can quote scripture and tell us where it lives. Some of y’all love God deeply, but your last church experience was a funeral and the repast ministry changed your life more than the eulogy.

And then there’s the rest of us:

Saved… but still working on tone.Saved… but still learning patience.Saved… but still trying not to respond “the way we used to.”

So yes — this was a sermon.But now it’s a blog.Because I want my church people and my “I’m spiritual but don’t play with me” people to all get the same message.

Now let me tell you how this sermon even got born.

It did not come from a peaceful devotional moment with a hot cup of tea and soft worship music in the background.

No.

It came from a series of unfortunate run-ins with people in:

• ministry

• me-istry

• and work-istry

Yes, work-istry.Because workplace foolishness has a strong spirit attached to it, and I’m convinced it’s in the book of Leviticus.

But what kept happening was… I would leave conversations thinking:

“That really didn’t have to go like that.”

Not because the issue was complicated.Not because conflict wasn’t unavoidable.Not because the truth wasn’t necessary.

But because of what people brought into the room.

And I don’t just mean a purse.I mean:

Tone.Tension.Ego.Control.Unspoken frustration.And that thing from earlier that never got addressed—so now everybody in THIS room is about to pay for it.

That’s when I started noticing something that deserves to be studied in a lab:

People will walk into a room and act like their mood is a group project.

Like…

“Hey y’all. I didn’t process anything. So now we’re ALL gonna feel it together.”

No.

It’s not what you said. It’s how you came in.

In my regular day job, I work in Human Resources. I’ve spent years doing acquisitions—coming in when companies are merging, systems are changing, and cultures are colliding.

And I’ve learned to pay attention to how people enter a room.

Not just what they say.

But how they show up.

Because I can tell when someone enters a conversation with collaboration on their heart. You can hear it in their tone. You can see it in their posture.

But I can also tell when someone enters already decided, already defensive, already pushing — not there to build anything, just there to get what they want, how they want it, and wrap it up before their attitude wears off.

Same room. Same topic. Completely different spirit.

And after those conversations, I always think the same thing:

That didn’t have to go like that.

Not because someone was wrong.

But because somebody came in carrying something, and instead of taking it to God… they took it to the meeting.

Then we do what we always do.

We blame the response.

“They took it wrong.”“They sensitive.”“You can’t say nothing to them.”

But the more rooms I sit in, the more I realize:

Sometimes people aren’t sensitive.

Sometimes people are just responding.

Responding to tone.Responding to timing.Responding to that group text that came through at 11:48 PM like it was an emergency… and it wasn’t.Responding to the weight you brought into the room before you ever opened your mouth.

Sometimes what comes back to you…is exactly what you handed out.

So if it came back loud… sharp… defensive… icy…

Then maybe the question is not “Why are they like that?”

Maybe the question is:

"What did I give them first?"

Because not everything we say is honesty.

Some of it is unprocessed emotion with a church outfit on.

Some of it is frustration we never prayed through.Grief we never dealt with.Stress we never laid down.Anger we carried straight from one side of the city… straight to the pew.

We had a rough morning.A hard week.A tense conversation.A disappointment we didn’t name.

And instead of pausing…instead of praying…instead of laying it down…

We passed it along.

And then we’re surprised when the person we handed it to doesn’t want to hold it.

But the truth is:

Everybody is already carrying something.

So when we hand people our leftover anger, sharp tone, impatience, unresolved feelings…

We’re adding weight they never agreed to carry.

And that’s when I realized something that should’ve been obvious, but somehow wasn’t:

Some of us are handing people things we never took to God.

Words we didn’t pray through.Attitudes we didn’t check.Reactions we didn’t sit with long enough to ask:

“Lord… is this even mine to give?”

And that’s where the line came from.

The one that has become my personal boundary, my personal reminder, and honestly… sometimes my personal warning label:

Don’t hand me what you didn’t pray about.

And I’m not saying this like I’ve never been guilty.

Because if I’m honest, there have been days I walked into a room saying “peace” with my mouth…but my spirit was saying:

“Try me if you want to.”

So I’m not writing this from a high horse.I’m writing this from lived experience.

Luke 10 checked me… respectfully.

Luke 10 says Jesus sent the disciples out and told them something simple:

“Whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’”

FIRST.

Not after you’ve figured out who you like.Not after you’ve decided who you’re going to be shady toward.Not after you’ve gotten your point across.

Peace goes first.

And then Jesus says something that was honestly too emotionally mature for me on my first read:

If your peace isn’t received… it returns to you.

Meaning:

You are responsible for what you bring.You are not responsible for how it’s received.

But if it comes back to you… it’s still yours to manage.

And when stuff returns to you — rejection, disappointment, tension — the question is:

Are you going to pray it…or pass it?

Because if you don’t pray through what returns…

you will eventually hand it to somebody who had nothing to do with what happened to you.

And that’s how people end up bleeding on folks who never cut them.

That’s how people end up turning every room into a battlefield.

That’s how “I’m just being real” turns into “why does everybody feel unsafe around you?”

So yes.

This was a sermon.

But now it’s a blog.

Because I’m not just trying to help church people sound holy.

I’m trying to help all of us show up healed.

Because some of us are walking into rooms with our lips saying “peace”…

…but our presence saying “pressure.”

And I’m done accepting emotional residue from people who refuse to pray.

Don’t hand me what you didn’t pray about.

Coming next (Part 2):

In Part 2, we’re going deeper into what Luke 10 really teaches us about:

• entering rooms with peace without being passive

• not losing yourself trying to be received

• what to do when your peace returns to you

• how to “shake the dust” without becoming bitter

Because yes… you can love God.

And still need emotional discipline.