Embracing Growth: 8 Key Insights for Thriving in Work and Life

There’s a well-worn saying about how life never stops teaching—if only we continue to show up as willing students. Yet sometimes, we forget that growth doesn’t have to be a grueling, high-stakes sprint. In fact, it’s usually made up of small, consistent steps, and the occasional friendly nudge (or comical stumble) along the way.

Throughout my career in HR—nearly three decades of it—I’ve watched professionals at every level wrestle with the same core questions: When do I finally leap forward? How do I stop trying to fix everyone else’s problems? How can I be more confident when the outcome is so uncertain? And as someone who has also spent years supporting individuals in navigating personal crossroads, I’ve seen how these questions often mirror what’s going on in our private lives, too.

Below, you’ll find my 8 eight rules for transformation. Don’t treat them as commandments, but rather as guideposts. Each one invites you to reframe your view of challenges, relationships, and your own sense of possibility. Mix in a little humor, because—let’s face it—we all need a good laugh when grappling with self-improvement. Here’s to making growth feel just a bit more welcoming and a lot less overwhelming.

1. You Don’t Need Every Answer Before You Begin

One of the greatest illusions we cling to is that we must have a perfect plan (or at least a foolproof backup plan) before taking the first step. Yet life rarely hands us a neatly labeled road map. Whether you’re eyeing a new position at work or considering a personal project that excites you, waiting for complete clarity can turn into infinite waiting. And who has time for that?

Picture it like learning to swim: no amount of reading about swim strokes will replicate the experience of feeling the water against your body the moment you actually dive in. The real learning happens in the doing. If you wait for a 100% guarantee, you’ll miss opportunities to discover what really lights you up—and you might also miss those unplanned moments of creativity that come with simply trying something new.

Start small: pitch a fresh idea in a team meeting, reach out to someone you admire for a 20-minute chat, or test a hobby you’ve been eyeing for ages. Each mini action can dispel the notion that you must know everything in advance. After all, the more you do, the clearer your path becomes—and there’s something liberating about realizing you can figure things out as you go.

2. Some People Aren’t Ready to Grow (and That’s Not Your Job to Fix)

We’ve all had that colleague or friend who insists they want change, but mysteriously never actually takes a step. It’s like watching someone stand next to a swimming pool complaining about the heat yet refusing to dip a toe in. It’s tempting to leap in on their behalf, but ultimately, you can’t do anyone’s internal work for them.

Offering support or resources is one thing—getting tangled in their emotional inertia is another. This is where boundaries come into play. Many of us learn the hard way that constantly swooping in to “rescue” a coworker who won’t meet deadlines, or a friend who never follows through on advice, only drains our own energy and stunts our growth. Instead of overextending, direct that energy toward your own development and toward collaborating with those who truly want to move forward.

The best way to remain both compassionate and sane is to separate genuine support from personal responsibility. You can hand someone a life vest, but you can’t make them put it on. By knowing this distinction, you’ll free yourself to thrive—while giving them the space to decide if and when they’re ready to do the same.

3. We Don’t Have to Carry Forward Every Hand-Me-Down Belief

Think about how many ideas we absorb from family, society, or even our first bosses—like outdated software running in the background, occasionally crashing our system. Maybe you were told you had to have a certain type of job to be “successful,” or that showing emotion at work is a weakness. Over time, these beliefs can feel as rigid as law.

But the beauty of growing older (and, ideally, wiser) is realizing you get to question those hand-me-down convictions. Which of them genuinely aligns with who you are today, and which are you keeping around just out of habit or loyalty to a past perspective?

It might be uncomfortable to re-examine core beliefs. Yet it can also be exhilarating. Releasing an outdated mindset is like clearing your closet of clothes you never wear: suddenly there’s space for outfits (or, in this case, beliefs) that actually fit the person you’ve become. So take an honest look at what’s rattling around in your mental attic. Keep what serves you—and feel free to donate the rest to the cosmic thrift store.

4. Patience with Ourselves Matters as Much as the Changes We Seek

We live in a results-obsessed world. From 30-day transformation programs to “overnight” success stories, it’s easy to feel pressured into believing that progress must happen at lightning speed or it’s not happening at all. But just like rushing bread dough won’t magically bake a perfect loaf, rushing your personal or career growth often backfires.

Consider the difference between forcing yourself through a massive new project under impossible deadlines versus pacing yourself and learning as you go. The second approach might take a bit longer, but it’s more likely to result in a deeper understanding and less exhaustion.

If you slip up or face a setback, remember that’s part of the journey, not the end of it. Too many people abandon their efforts because they assume one mishap equates to total failure. In reality, that’s just a pit stop along the way. The most substantial transformations often unfold like a gradual sunrise—impressive once you see the full light, but built from a series of slow shifts in the darkness before dawn.

5. Loss Often Makes Room for Something Better Aligned

Loss can be heartbreaking, infuriating, or just downright confusing—especially when it’s unexpected, like a job layoff or the end of a close relationship. Yet over the years, I’ve seen countless individuals who, in hindsight, realized that losing what they thought was essential actually opened up possibilities they never would have explored otherwise.

It’s a bit like decluttering your living space. That old armchair you finally hauled away was taking up prime real estate—making you believe you didn’t have room for anything else. Once it’s gone, you notice a perfect spot for a cozy reading nook or something that better fits your current taste.

The challenge is that, in the thick of loss, it’s hard to see the silver lining. No one’s expecting you to smile through genuine grief or pretend everything is fine. Instead, allow yourself to experience the discomfort, but also stay open to the question: “What could this be making space for?” The answer might surprise you. Sometimes, a setback is a redirection toward something that resonates far more deeply with who you’re becoming.

6. Being Misunderstood Can Mean You’ve Outgrown Old Spaces

Ever tried to slip into a sweater from high school only to find it’s two sizes too small now? The same thing can happen in life: you evolve, but others still see you as the person you used to be. The result can feel like living in a world that’s one size too tight.

When you start voicing new ideas, setting firmer boundaries, or pursuing goals that don’t align with your past self, not everyone will throw you a celebration. In fact, some might question your motives, tease you for “acting different,” or seem outright uncomfortable. As disheartening as this reaction can be, it’s also a strong indication that you’re breaking old patterns and stepping into the next stage of your journey.

It might take time for people—colleagues, friends, or family—to adjust to the updated version of you. Stay authentic, surround yourself with those who support your growth, and recognize that feeling “out of place” is often a vital part of moving forward. If you’re never misunderstood, you might not be pushing your boundaries enough.

7. Confidence Doesn’t Require Certainty—Just Self-Trust

We often imagine that confident people are fearless or that they always know they’ll succeed. In reality, most confident individuals are simply comfortable moving forward without having all the pieces neatly in place. They trust their ability to adapt, learn, and, if necessary, pick themselves up after a stumble.

Think of a toddler learning to walk: they fall, wobble, and occasionally cry, yet keep going until they get the hang of it. They’re not certain they’ll succeed on any given step, but they trust themselves enough to keep trying.

Developing this sort of trust in yourself involves recognizing your past triumphs (even the small ones), giving yourself permission to be a work in progress, and realizing that mistakes are not moral failings but proof that you’re in motion. If you wait to feel 100% ready, you might never even lace up your shoes.

8. Closure Comes from Within, Not from Others

If there’s one thing many of us do, it’s waiting for that perfect apology, explanation, or acknowledgment that never seems to arrive. Maybe you had a boss who let you go without acknowledging your contributions, or you parted ways with a close friend under tense circumstances. It’s natural to crave external validation, but pinning your peace of mind on someone else’s words or actions puts them in charge of your progress.

Real closure is an inside job. It happens when you decide you’re finished letting a past event weigh you down—regardless of whether the other person ever says or does what you hoped they would. That can feel like a tall order at first, but there’s true empowerment in saying, “I choose to move on, even if they never give me the closure I feel I deserve.”

Let yourself process the experience, extract the lessons, and then channel that energy into your next steps. By doing so, you free up mental and emotional space for better opportunities and healthier relationships.

Bringing It All Together

Ultimately, growth is the ongoing process of aligning more fully with the person you’re meant to be—whether that’s in your career, your relationships, or the private corners of your life. It doesn’t require sudden, sweeping transformations (though those do happen occasionally). More often, it’s a series of manageable steps, each one nudging you a bit further out of your comfort zone.

If you only take one thing from this piece, let it be this: you don’t have to be the same person you were yesterday, especially if that version of you is keeping you from embracing what’s possible today. Question inherited beliefs. Show patience when you inevitably slip up. Recognize that not everyone in your orbit wants to or can move forward—and that’s not on you to fix. Stay curious and trust yourself enough to begin even if the entire path isn’t illuminated.

In my nearly -eh hem- years in HR (I refuse to say how long), and in all my interactions helping individuals navigate their personal crossroads, I’ve seen time and time again that real transformation starts with just enough courage to say, “I’ll take one step forward and see what happens.” Some steps lead to glorious discoveries; others lead to a face-plant—but both are integral to the journey.

So here’s to your growth, however it unfolds. May you find the humor in your missteps, the wisdom in your setbacks, and the thrill of realizing just how much you’re capable of—long before you’ve got it all figured out.