Private, Picky & Unbothered: A Testimony from the Woman I Fought to Become

Listen… I didn’t mean to grow up this much.

I was minding my business, drinking my water, trying not to let anybody’s half-baked chaos mess with my moisturized spirit — and then life tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sis, you’re overdue for a transformation.” I didn’t sign up for it. I didn’t volunteer. I wasn’t even ready. But healing has this funny way of sliding into your life like, “Yeah, I’m here. Don’t fight it.”

And let me tell you, healing did not ask me for permission.

It just showed up and started rearranging furniture in my soul.

Healing made me private, growth made me picky, and peace made me unbothered.

And each one of those shifts? Baby, they came with their own kind of classroom.

Healing made me private.

Not quiet. Not withdrawn.

Private.

There’s a sacred difference.

I used to tell my life like a running commentary — real-time updates, emotional footnotes, behind-the-scenes commentary, and extended editions for the people I thought were “close enough.” But healing walked in like, “No ma’am. Not anymore.”

Healing taught me that my story is valuable, and valuable things aren’t left out on the coffee table for anyone to thumb through. Healing taught me that access to my inner world is earned, not assumed. Healing taught me that silence isn’t hiding — it’s honoring.

These days, if you know what’s happening in my life, it’s because I handed you a key.

I didn’t drop it.

You didn’t steal it.

I placed it in your hand with intention.

Healed me does not broadcast.

She curates. Carefully. Softly. Selectively.

Because privacy is not about walls — it’s about wisdom.

Growth made me picky.

Growth will change your taste. Your tolerance. Your appetite. Your whole spiritual palate.

I’m not talking about being picky like “I only drink water bottled by angels.” No. I’m talking picky like: I refuse to entertain anything that drains me, diminishes me, or disturbs my peace.

Growth made me realize how much energy I wasted on people who only called me when their loneliness got loud. Growth made me see how often I settled for crumbs when God knew I was built for feasts. Growth made me step back from conversations that were really just circular arguments with no destination.

I used to bend myself into pretzels to make room for folks who wouldn’t move an inch for me.

Now? If your energy comes with confusion, conflict, or chronic inconsistency, I’m good.

I’m so good.

Growth made me protective — not just of my time, but of my joy, my mind, and my spirit.

Because when you heal, you grow.

And when you grow, you outgrow.

Peace made me unbothered.

And THIS… this is where I thrive now.

Unbothered like a Sunday nap after good church.

Unbothered like a phone on Do Not Disturb with the screen face down.

Unbothered like “I read your message, processed nothing, and kept my blood pressure under control.”

The old me would carry tension like a part-time job.

The new me? She minds her business religiously.

Peace said, “Sit down and breathe before you respond.”

Peace said, “You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”

Peace said, “Not everything requires a reaction. Sometimes the protection is the quiet.”

Unbothered doesn’t mean numb. It means mature.

It means I still feel deeply — I just don’t spiral.

It means I still care — I just don’t carry.

And when you’ve worked this hard for peace, you stop letting people bargain with it.

The Upgrade

Healing gave me clarity.

Growth gave me standards.

Peace gave me rest.

Together, they created a woman who honors her heart, protects her time, and moves with intention. I am softer, but I’m also stronger. I’m calmer, but I’m also firmer. I’m quieter, but somehow louder in all the right ways.

This version of me?

She’s not flammable anymore.

She’s fire.

So if all this makes me private, picky, and unbothered?

Good.

Because the woman I am now… she is the proof that I didn’t just survive — I evolved. And I’m still evolving. Becoming. Choosing myself again and again with no apology and no hesitation.

And honestly?

I love her.

#HealingJourney #GrowthSeason #PeacefulNotPressed #UnbotheredEnergy #BecomingHer #SoftButStrong #FireSignEnergy