Abandoned Me….For Me

How I abandoned myself so much that I can...

Never go to that dark place again.

When emotions got the best of me

and Life was hard,

I binged on junk for years

And when that started changing my body, I stopped looking at myself.

When I was cheated on,

I went into the dark place of self blame and kept telling myself repeatedly that I deserved it. "It's absolutely fair what happened with me."

I abandoned my self respect.

When years ago I realised that my corporate career is not aligned to who I am as a person, I still kept dragging myself from one day to the other. Totally abandoning my deepest need to have a meaningful career that utilizes my interest, potential, passion & strengths.

The pattern of repeatedly abandoning myself, killed me in ways more than one.

And the best part was, no one could guess looking at my ever-smiling self that I was not okay inside.

When I repeatedly kept staring at the edge, and thought that giving up was the only option, I asked myself - what if it is not?

What if I am able to find courage in me to make better choices?

What if I am able to give myself permission to make mistakes?

What if I am able to go on a different path this time and not give up, not just for me but for my child & husband who literally trust me with all their being that I will not give up, that I will thrive and live fully?

So I couldn't let go and I started taking baby steps towards myself, making different choices, slowly making bold decisions, not caring one bit about what the world thinks.

So yes, when I say take care of yourself and your mental health, don't give up on your dreams - I don't just say it for the sake of it. I say it because I know what I would have missed if I didn't.

I know what I have built after I built my trust on myself.

The game is not over until it's over and I promise you that your best moments are still ahead of you.

You are yet to meet those who will love you more than you can imagine.

You are yet to experience a career that makes you go to bed with a smile of meaning & fulfillment.

All this & more is waiting for you only if you get yourself out of the mental jail that you have boxed yourself in, which has a big lock of your past mistakes and unhealthy patterns.

If you really open your eyes and see, you will know that it is not really locked forever. It opens the moment you truly believe that it can.

You have it in you to create a totally different life for yourself, the one that makes complete sense to you.

I am with you on your journey of finding yourself. ♥️